Dawg Days

I have officially ended my junior year in college.  Which means next year is the final round -- senior year.  As cliché as it is, I am in shock as to how incredibly fast these three years have flown by.  They say time flies when you are having fun, though, and I can honestly say my time so far at the University of Georgia has been the best compilation of experiences of my young life for a myriad of reasons.  Now, this is not to say it has been all fun.  I have also been pushed harder than I ever have, coming into my own and excelling not only as a student, but also as a young professional.  I have had to deal with classes I was not the least bit interested in (I’m looking at you, Marine Biology), had tests and projects scheduled on every day of any given week, and I have had to go outside of my comfort zone, outside of my bubble, and learn about the world around me.  I’ve both made mistakes and had to deal with the mistakes of others.  But college is a learning experience in its entirety, from the lectures to the relationships we foster.

UGA is so much more than just a college.  Yes, it is an institution of higher education, but it has also become my second home.  It’s the littlest occurrences that make me love and appreciate every day I am on that campus. 

It’s seeing the campus transform on a game day.  Standing in Sanford Stadium and being one drop in the sea of red and black.  Circling your fist overhead and yelling out as the whole stadium echoes its bellowing “Gooooo dawgs! Sic em! Woof woof woof!  (Spelled out, the onomatopoeia doesn’t have quite the same effect…)  It’s wearing those black cowboy boots and red sundress, proudly donning a [insert sorority name] loves the Dawgs pin.  That’s because it’s not just a game, it’s a culture.  That’s why people say they are so excited for game days, rather than the game itself.  If it were all about the game I’d be in big trouble.  (Offense, defense, touch down…that’s it, right?)  No matter where you are from, what your major is, or what year you are, we are all united by the pride of the Bulldawg Nation, and that’s amazing.

Game day is such a small part of the UGA experience, though.  It’s carefully side-stepping to avoid falling victim to the curse that looms under the curve of the Arch.  Ringing the victory bell with so much more power than you realize you possess that it lifts you right off the ground.  It’s having a splash in the fountain to culminate a 21^st birthday celebration. Taking a shortcut (which is usually never shorter) just to pass through the Founder’s Garden when the flowers are in full bloom on a sunny spring day. 

It’s walking the streets of downtown under twinkling Christmas lights.   It’s watching bike racers fly by so quickly on Twilight that you can’t even capture a picture. It’s becoming a total foodie when it comes to Athens cuisine.  (Might I recommend the spinach dip filled bread bowl goodness that is Speakeasy?)  Window- shopping in the boutiques, fully knowing you will never find the time to come back and go shopping.  It’s going to the hole-in-the wall places to hear your friend tell a few jokes.  Going across the train tracks to find a forgotten rope swing. 

It’s running into someone you know every day, along with meeting someone new every day.  Walking down Milledge and seeing the freshly painted banners adorn the Antebellum style Greek Houses.  Standing in the nosebleed section just to see your favorite country artist perform in the first ever concert at Sanford Stadium.  It’s knowing that even though I am only one of 35,000 students at this university, somehow, in some small way, I am now a part of this institution’s history and legacy.  At least, that’s what I’d like to think.

All of these things and more are Athens.  There is a cheesy canvas on Pinterest that says: Athens, a place that gets into your blood and stays forever.  Despite, perhaps, it likely applies to every other college town in the country, I believe that it holds true for Athens.  That's why they call it the Classic City.  Classic.  Timeless.  Tradition.

I look now to my senior year and think about how there are so many more things I want to do in my remaining time here.  So many more things I want to learn and experience.  But I realize that even if I had 5 more years (or 10, or 20), I would never be able to do everything Athens has to offer.  After all, isn’t that what keeps alums coming back year after year?   They want to see one more game, enjoy one more beer downtown, and walk through North Campus one more time.  It’s because Athens has gotten in their blood.  And stayed. 

Mid-College Crisis

I recently tackled one of the more unsettling experiences of my young-adult life.  That’s right.  I faced my mid-college crisis.  We all have one at some point.  I remember back in the day... a whole three years ago...  I was a wide-eyed freshman, blissfully unaware of the sense of responsibility and looming awareness of adulthood waiting to snatch me with their snarly claws just around the corner of Junior year. 

For those who have experienced said mid-college crisis, you know the cracks in the once indestructible façade of confidence.  You know the dimming glimmer of telling people you are a  _______ major and wondering if you even like the way it sounds when you say it out loud.  For those who have not experienced the crisis… you will.  Sooner or later.  Allow me to soften the blow a bit by having you take an exclusive sneak peak into my glass case of emotion.  Now, the mind of a third year student in this tumultuous stage is like a pinball machine, darting from one place to another, dashing against obstacles, and exploding with sudden bursts of light and bell sounds.  Bear with me.  The cliff notes version went a bit like this: 

I am a Junior in college.  I am a JUNIOR in COLLEGE.  I am 21 years old.  I remember when 21 used to seem so old.  It’s not old right?  Nah, I’m super young.  Oh my gosh.  I was a junior in high school 4 years ago.  Yeah, I’m way old. That was four years ago?! Ok.  Composure. 

I just thought I would have accomplished so much more by now.  Done so much more.  Seen things.  Known things.  Do I know anything?  Anything at all?  Quick!  Think of something you know. 

My brain is an empty vat of nothing.

I have so much that I want to do and so little time to do it.  Only a year and a half left.  Life will officially end on graduation day.  So long to my joy.  Buhbye to my youth.   I will have to leave behind my scholastic comfort zone in order to get a real job.  A job.  Not a summer job or a part-time job or I’ll house/pet/baby sit and call it a job-job.  A real-life, grown-up job.  

How can I have a profession?  I have no skills.  Can I do anything?  I can whistle.  That won’t help with anything.  I could become a YouTube sensation?  I won’t completely rule that out.

I don’t even have an internship.  That’s a big buzzword, isn’t it?  The almighty internship.  Dang it. I should probably start applying for some internships. 

Wait.  Is this even what I want to do with my life?  I always thought it was, but now I am not so sure.  I feel like I lack passion.  I should be passionate about my career.  I should be barely able to sleep because I am so excited to hop out of my bed and skip merrily to work the next day, stopping in the middle of the street to raise my fists to the heavens in ecstatic triumph, “Hello, world! I love my job!” 

That’s it.  I am running away to Disney World. 

Man, when I get a job, that means I will have to actually make a living to sustain myself.  I am going to have to do without a lot of things.  As in, a lot of nice things.  As in, I might be homeless.  Can I balance a checkbook?  Can I live off of lean cuisines the rest of my existence?

Stop.  (Hammer time.)

I can’t think of anything else that could suit me more than my major.

I have really great friends and family that support me with anything.

I have made amazing memories.  And still have the rest of my life to make more!

I am my own biggest critic.

One day at a time.

Breathe.

Breathe again.

One more time for good measure.

Do not fret, my collegiate peers.  We can do anything—including survive the stage of panic that is the inevitable mid-college crisis. 

Be Here Now

It certainly has been a while since writing.  Over a whole semester’s worth of activities have passed and I have not been able to put my sarcastic and flowery spin on it.  This year school has seemed to consume my time more than usual, which, for anyone who knows me, is saying a lot.  Oh, gone are the days of when a “paper” meant three paragraphs on what you did over [insert season] break.  Now are the days of writing an eight page researcher’s profile on my personal paradigms and theories on interpersonal communication.  At school, we do not have any time to slow down—no time to even realize we are tired.  Go, go, go is the mentality.  At home, it all catches up to you and you find yourself rolling out of bed at 1:00 in the afternoon. The rest of the holidays having been equal part eating, equal part burning it off, I found myself with time (yes actual true time) to think about things. 

This just shows a grave problem that I do not believe I face alone.  I have not been slowing down long enough to really “be” in these moments.  Sure, I am busy.  We all get busy.  But at what price?  Sometimes it takes stepping back for a minute and allow ourselves to see the picture as a whole.  I know I am certainly guilty of taking a quick mental picture, only to get lost in the memory card which is our minds, revisited briefly, and eventually erased to make room for other, more current activities.  My resolution (one month late) is to try and do a better job of appreciating all the little things, as cliché as it may sound.   My favorite acting teacher once told me, that in life we have to remember 3 simple words: “Be here now.”  Sounds easy enough, but not always the case for someone like me, who tends to think 10 steps ahead.  Be here. Now. That’s what I intend to do.